Need More Collisions? Follow These Steps!

1. Work yourself into a frazzled state

Become so one with your emotions that you lose all calm. Your goal is total emotional agitation. Too worked up to finish a complete sentence? Good. Can’t open a bottle of water? Better. Adrenaline coursing through your body? Best.

2. Don’t check if it’s the right day

Now that you’re hysterical, plow toward your destination regardless of whether your appointment is two weeks from now. That’s their problem! Your job is to get there no matter the time or date.

3. Save dressing until you’re driving

Too hot to wear that jacket? Too many buttons on your collar? Are you wearing shoes but not socks? That’s what red lights are for! You know the streets so well that you can easily carve out an extra 30 seconds per light. Unless someone calls or texts…

4. Prioritize your phone over driving

How cool is it that we have these amazing devices? However, rumor has it that if you don’t use them every 30 seconds, they vanish into a puff of smoke. Make sure to keep them in sight so you don’t forget to use them.

5. Accelerate up to red lights and stopped cars

If you never slam on your brakes, how will you know if they work? Better speed up before stop signs, red lights and stopped cars. It conveys a sense of liveliness to your passengers and makes an exciting experience for them. Experience is everything.

6. Cross as many lanes as possible

In the wrong lane? Don’t worry about it! Feel free to head toward where you need to be, no matter if you’re cutting across multiple lanes of traffic. They’re just jealous of your car! They wish they could be you, so now they have to hate.

Obviously, you should never do any of the above. While we can’t fix your driving habits, we can fix your car so if you ever need help swing on by our service department.

Need More Collisions? Follow These Steps! was last modified: March 9th, 2022 by Leith Lincoln

Powered by WordPress. Designed by Woo Themes